Friday, October 16

Funeral on Tuesday

Andrew's grandmother died while we were in Sipi. The next day I woke up to find that the funeral was Tuesday, which happened to be that morning. It made me really sad to hear that his Jaja (grandmother) had died. She raised him, so I know that it was as if his mother died. Both his real parents had died already, and his 13 year old sister died last year of aids. Andrew has his uncle now, which from the sounds of it, he does not seem that involved with his life. As much as the day was about Andrew I could not help but to think only about my life. My dad. My brother. Last September. Scott. Scott's dad. My mind was in so many places that morning. Rachel told me the service was at ten and that if I wanted to go I could. I was decided on not attending, but then realized that I am not here for myself, I am not here for my comfort, and to sit at home and be gloomy about my life was going to bring Andrew no support, even if I did not know if all that well.
So we all set off to the village. If Uganda you do not wear black for a funeral. Or shall I say, it is not a requirement. If you wear your best, and care, that is all that matters.
We got to Andrew's. He had lost his voice kinda, and was very sad. His cousins and second cousins were all around and there were some friends of Jaja's in her house sitting inside and sleeping. Randy, Rachel, Kate, and I took a seat outside under the shade and talked with Andrew about how he was. We told him we were sorry. We were intruduced to some friends and family. We were told about how the day would play out, and also were told about the cost of the funeral. As all of this was going on, I was dazed. I kept thinking about how Andrew's behavior was so similar to mine last year. He was getting things organized, staying busy, being polite to whomever, keeping his compossure. I shed a couple tears here and there. I knew how to be there for him but at the same time knew that the only way to be there for someone like that is just to literally be there, to sit, to listen, to ask only a couple questions, to be silent, and to pray.
He asked us to follow him into the house. So not knowing anything but to follow, i took off my shoes, stepped inside, and right there in front of me was Jaja's coffin. It was sitting on the foor about 3 feet from the entrance. It was a beautiful coffin and there was glass right where her face was and also glass on the bottom along the sides. Wow I dared not look where the face was. I was really shocked. Ah! Not the best day of my life. Not at all.

I will tell you more about the service later. The internet cafe is closing. sorry.



"a good friend holds the hand of the weak man."

"you are good friends. you are here even when there is pain."

"many people are friends when there is joy, it is a real friend to be there when there is sorrow."

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